I love my wife, I really do. But we suffer, as I think many couples do, from hand signal miscommunication. I think it’s my fault and I am assuming responsibility for the problem.

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Hand signal miscommunication is as important in a relationship as any other type of miscommunication, especially when you are involved in intense military style operations like taking your children to the grocery store. Seriously, places like grocery stores and parking lots require lots of hand signals.

I’ve taken it upon myself to attempt to only use standardized hand signals in the hope that my wife and I will be better able to communicate. We are going to adopt the official Army hand signals as our family/couple form of hand signal communication.

I know what you’re thinking, if we standardized our hand signals, everyone who knows the official Army hand signals will be able to intercept our communications. Don’t think the Army hasn’t thought of it either. Section 1-3(c) “Limitations” of the Army hand signal manual says that hand signals “are vulnerable to enemy interception and may be used for deception purposes.” This is a risk I am willing to take if it means better communication with my wife.

The prior section concerns me more. Section 1-3(b) warns “They (hand signals) may be misunderstood.” There’s no way the miscommunication could be worse than it already is. I’m willing to take this chance, too.

So here it is honey, week 1 of our new standardized hand signals for couples: “Attention”
Army Hand Signal For Attention

"Hand Signals For Couples - “Attention”" by Tommy was published on March 12th, 2007 and is listed in Sexuality.

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Comments on "Hand Signals For Couples - “Attention”": 5 Comments

  1. Chet wrote,

    This is also an excellent hand signal to use when your videotaping somebody skiing. Just last week when I was skiing in Colorado, we got the bright idea to use my girlfriends still camera to videotape me coming down a run, so that I could see what I looked like. Typically figuring out how to do this takes a minute or so (it’s not the most intuitive thing ever).

    So honey skis down the run with the camera and just waits there. And waits. And waits. I stand at the top of the hill wondering if she’s ever going to give me the signal to come down the hill (meaning she’s ready to videotape me). Granted, we don’t have a formal signal for this, but when I was videotaping her before I waved my hand (with pole in it) just like Tommy’s picture. You’d think she would have caught on.

    When I got down the hill (I skied like Bodie Miller if you’re wondering), I badger her about giving me some signal in the future to tell me she’s ready for me to go for it. I suggest the one arm above the head wave with ski pole in hand.

  2. Auntie wrote,

    I am very confused. Does this mean that you and your wife will be doing this ALL the time now?

  3. Cecelia Land wrote,

    I was wondering what a certain hand signal meant. I’ve seen it for some time now but I never actually got the meaning of it. It might mean I love you but, I heard some one say that it meant something regarding the devil so I wanted to get the meaning correct. I hope you can help. You take your hand and fold down the middle finger and the ring finger with your thumb holding them down. thn you extend the index finger and your pinky finger up. I’m sure you must have seen this before–people do this all the time. Do you know what the meaning is and would you please tell me. Thank you, Cecelia

  4. Chet wrote,

    I have no idea what it means. I think if the person stick his/her tongue out and then runs it between the turned down fingers that it indicates some sort of oral sex (on a woman) thing. But I did see Ronnie James Dio do it in like 1980. I think he used it as the sign of the devil. In fact, many heavy metal bands get the audience to do it, probably because they are all devil-worshipers. Either way, it’s not something you want to encourage your kids to do.

  5. Mark wrote,

    Okay so I’m really digging up an old topic here, but you really ought to know what that means. The hand signal Cecelia described is a “rock on” hand signal. I’m sure it was created to look like horns, but its extremely commonly used, often with harder rock bands.

    The sign you want: “I love you”, is the exact same, but with your thumb out. Thats actual sign language, I believe.

    A peace sign with tongue indicates oral sex, so thats completely different.

    For the record, labeling every metal band as devil-worshipers is super lame. Don’t be ignorant. The “rock on” hand signal is very widely used, I’m sure by people of all faiths. As someone who enjoys listening to metal and practicing Christianity, what you said was pretty insulting.

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